Life. What A Funny Thing.

In my last post I complained about how all I wanted a day off. Well, I got a doctors note for a day off. Not exactly what I wanted...but a day to recuperate is a day to recuperate.


Anyways, I married a couple on Friday. I'll post a picture when I get one, and boy, let me tell you. That was one of the most eventful days I've had in a long time.

Hope all is well on your ends, I just don't feel like speaking much today.

Runaway.

Wow, I'm pretty tired lately. Between balancing 3 jobs, trying to find time to work a drawing in that I want to do, and any time off in the morning being used to get up early anyways and babysit kids, as well as help my great grandmother when she needs it. I love my family, and I'm loyal to my jobs, but I'm ready to take a day, call off of work, tell my family I won't be home and do something. Leave in the morning and come back late. Find something to leave me feeling refreshed and re-charged enough to pick back up and go again. 

Wouldn't that be nice?

So what's holding me back, exactly?

Will I Ever Get To Find Love...

You are leaving. And my chance is over.


I texted you today because I'm tired, I'm tired of running away, and tired of being alone, and tired of being scared of actually being close to someone on a personal level. I wanted to change that, but you got promoted, and you are moving, so I backed out on saying what I wanted to say, because eventually it wouldn't matter, eventually you'd be gone. I've lost my chance, because I got scared and backed away again, and you gave me chances. Too damn bad on me yet again. 


Good luck, I wish you the best. From the bottom of my heart, which was finally turning around, finally.

Curiosity Killed The Cat

So it's a good thing I'm not a cat then.


After years of having a question I could never, ever bring myself to ask, I finally got an answer without having to. 
I was made as a mistake. I was created a bastard child, but born to married parents, as they got married when they found out they were expecting me. I kind of figured that something like this happened, but I never had the confirmation that it was true, 


Isn't it funny how you figure these things out? 






Anyways, I figured I'd share my page where I keep my art and photography. Just in case people ever read this and wonder about it. It's not very good, but I'm working on it.
Captive Creations

On Wounded Hands I Crawl.

I just want somebody to take care of me for a few days. 
I think I'm starting to slip up, and I've been trying my best to keep up.
I'm in need of a small escape.
Somewhere else for a couple of days.




Maybe someone to start a relationship with. Who knows. But I would need to stop running away from any sign of love. For a relationship kind of girl, I freak out at the idea of being close to someone personally, because I know what all my demons are like. I'm stressed, tired, and alone. Who could take me as I am for all I am? Why am I so afraid of someone who could do that? 
Funny, I could have had that, I'm sure, maybe even a few times. But I'm so fucked up. And this is why I feel so alone when I just want someone to take care of me. Or at least hold me. I'm so exhausted.

(Drawing by me.)

That Sexy Wet Dog Look...

Does not apply to me.




But I made it into a local paper called 'The Weekender' this week. I'm not sure who took the photo as of now. But I am on the left, and my friend Samm is on the right with me. The wet dog look comes from getting caught in a pretty awesome thunderstorm at Warped Tour. Since I don't have too much to share right now, I'll share this very flattering photo of me. Very flattering. haha 

Let me just say...

Yesterday was Warped Tour for me. After years of waiting, I finally got to see Taking Back Sunday.
On cloud nine still.
See you all later. <3