These Unwritten Pages

So, yesterday I went on a "Spring Clean" in my room. I was browsing though some of my stacks of papers I haven't thrown out to see which I could toss now, and go through it again later and keep what is important.

Anyways, I found a quote I had written down once, who knows how long ago. 

"The ninety and nine are with dreams, content but the hope of the world made new, is the hundredth man who is grimly bent on making those dreams come true." -Edgar Allen Poe

It really struct a cord with me. Gave me an understanding beyond anything, the idea that I could possibly be fighting in between the balance of the two. Fighting the content feeling to support the dream world I live in. Even when I seem content with myself and my life, I still have my dreams and want them to happen. With all my struggles, to this day, I wonder if that is why I have so many ups and downs, and fight myself, my life, my situation, and everyone else all the time. I wonder if I am that hundredth man.

I took another first step for myself for yet another chapter in my life. 
I put an application in for a full-time job. And, no matter what happens, it's a first step. A better step. 3 measly part-time jobs won't support me, my bills, or my hopes of finding ways to accomplish my dreams. Fingers crossed, and hoping for the best, but I feel like I lit the path I'm walking on in flames. Anxious to see how it goes. 

Stay tuned, there maybe more incite to come. Or a beautiful disaster ahead. 

A little piece of my artwork collection. 

"Keep Flight" -pen and ink/pencil drawing

And as always, 

Please support me.

XoXXo

Cooper

Story Of My Life

I had a discussion the other day. At some point I muttered,
"Some people are meant to be in the holes they dig."
I won't go into details, but I compared a lady as a 'black energy' and 'a relative of a black widow.'
As bad as it sounds, it's true. She's burned so many 'bridges' and ruined lives, and is still trying to take people with her as she goes.
But that made me think, do I belong in the holes I find myself in?

My latest one is I JUST got my inspections, oil change, tire rod and two tires done on my jeep. 
Cost me $410. Just about anything I had saved up from all my hard work for little pay working 3 part-time jobs. I make shit, and I was leaving early in the morning and coming home late at night. Daily.
Now Christmas is over, and I've become stressed (probably partially anxious as well due to the sudden change), feeling un-worked, broke, and now have to find a way to save up $600 to fix a problem with my transmission before it's destroyed. 

And I'm left wondering what I can do to get that money, since I'm working much less, with my crappy pays. 
I thought about selling photography and artwork. Some thought I've tossed around before.
I'll give it a go, and do what I can. But I need something else. More means to make money.

Any ideas to help? 

If my transmission goes, I'm out a car, can't get to work, still have to pay my loan on it, and basically, royally screwed.

Did I deserve to be in this hole, am I a black energy for myself?
Sometimes I have to wonder.

I've done a few variations of this drawing.

"Iveen" -Pen and Ink

Found it suiting for my mood.

XoXXo

Cooper