Curiosity Killed The Cat

So it's a good thing I'm not a cat then.


After years of having a question I could never, ever bring myself to ask, I finally got an answer without having to. 
I was made as a mistake. I was created a bastard child, but born to married parents, as they got married when they found out they were expecting me. I kind of figured that something like this happened, but I never had the confirmation that it was true, 


Isn't it funny how you figure these things out? 






Anyways, I figured I'd share my page where I keep my art and photography. Just in case people ever read this and wonder about it. It's not very good, but I'm working on it.
Captive Creations

On Wounded Hands I Crawl.

I just want somebody to take care of me for a few days. 
I think I'm starting to slip up, and I've been trying my best to keep up.
I'm in need of a small escape.
Somewhere else for a couple of days.




Maybe someone to start a relationship with. Who knows. But I would need to stop running away from any sign of love. For a relationship kind of girl, I freak out at the idea of being close to someone personally, because I know what all my demons are like. I'm stressed, tired, and alone. Who could take me as I am for all I am? Why am I so afraid of someone who could do that? 
Funny, I could have had that, I'm sure, maybe even a few times. But I'm so fucked up. And this is why I feel so alone when I just want someone to take care of me. Or at least hold me. I'm so exhausted.

(Drawing by me.)

That Sexy Wet Dog Look...

Does not apply to me.




But I made it into a local paper called 'The Weekender' this week. I'm not sure who took the photo as of now. But I am on the left, and my friend Samm is on the right with me. The wet dog look comes from getting caught in a pretty awesome thunderstorm at Warped Tour. Since I don't have too much to share right now, I'll share this very flattering photo of me. Very flattering. haha 

Let me just say...

Yesterday was Warped Tour for me. After years of waiting, I finally got to see Taking Back Sunday.
On cloud nine still.
See you all later. <3

I'm Back, Back In The New York Groove

One day, while I was not paying attention to my psychology class, I happened to come across a quote in there from Sigmund Freud: "When inspiration does not come to me, I go halfway to meet it." 
So, I am now setting myself a goal to do at least one drawing a day, no matter how large or small. I'm tired of sitting around daydreaming of doing photography and art, wondering if I even have the slightest chance of going back to school, spending my days somewhat overworking myself with multiple jobs 

-and nothing to show for.

I'm tired of being idle. I've made many changes, and have been working on some more of them. (for example, I have finally put off placing work first and my back pain second. Going back to the chiropractor and consistently was one of the best starts I've made.) I'm not going to get anywhere daydreaming of what I want if I don't actually do something. That is where drawing/doodling/or taking at least one photo a day comes in. It will help keep me productive in what I want, and the only thing I have to lose is accomplishing something.


Wish me luck!


P.S. I have been ignoring a lot of things lately. This has been one of them. So, if you are reading this, whether this is your first time reading one of my posts or not, please keep checking in on my progress. I'll try updating on here more often again.

And I will leave you this, though I am in Pa. this seems quite fitting right now:

New York Groove

(Photo of my, taken by my best friend, and fellow artist/photo nerd Brian.)