Please Read!!

Majority of any images posted on here will be MINE! As in, original stuff, made/taken/yadda yadda by ME. I would like you to respect that and not claim it as other then mine, from me. Any images other then mine will be noted as so, unless, most likely, as a post of what I like/want, I most likely won't list that. i.e. band photos (if I took any pics of band, i will note that, otherwise assume it's from the internet), wishlist-y stuff (anything i want) Or just things I find worth sharing. If you're not sure if an image is mine or not, feel free to ask, I will tell you truthfully. Just a note, this is basically a copyright of all my images. (Also, there will be images of me posted around, there's a chance they were taken by other people then me. If you're unsure and would like to know, again, just ask.)

Lost In Wonderland

Lost In Wonderland
I'll sit here waiting, dreaming of you. (Photo taken by A friend of mine, Brian Ellis. That's my mirage.)

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Skinny Hollywood, Marilyn Monroe, and Today.


Just a forward. Got into a conversation where all my points were overlooked, and everyone focused solely on Marilyn Monroe. This agitated me, and now my point is being made here, as well as Facebook, and my Tumblr. This is how seriously aggravated I got.
Please, don't get me wrong, I love 50's and pin-ups and the Victorian Era, some have said that I have past lives in these two periods, but not enough people seem to understand the true nature of these times.


Just your friendly informational tid-bit about Skinny Hollywood and Marilyn Monroe. 
It's nothing new. 


The Skinny Hollywood today really started to take farce back in the 50's with pin-ups. Well, I shouldn't use it in plural -since most people only know Marilyn Monroe....




Anyways, she was the starlet who somehow really became the image idea of being skinny and being in Hollywood. (Her body was used as means of being a Hollywood Starlet people, she wasn't quite the actress and couldn't compete with anything but her body.) It had a downward spiral to it (No, not exactly her fault, but one cannot deny the correlation with Skinny Hollywood and Miss Monroe), and now you have anorexic and bulimic 'idols' for young girls to use as how they want to be in their complicated body-image times. Marilyn Monroe was a pretty face. Yes, she was beautiful, but she was also a big part as to why Hollywood looks the way it does now.


Here's a fact: Those pin-up paintings -there were photographs of models taken to use as a guideline for the paintings themselves. Do you know how many of them were contoured into 'the 50's beauty image' and 'the ideal body shape'?? 
Hm?


Majority of them.
Don't get me wrong now; 
the skinny image is nothing new in this world. 
Nowhere near it.
And I leave you with this: 


Victorian Era.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

This is Life. This is the Me Now.

I realized that I don't open up enough to have a selection of close friends to talk to when I need it most. 
This is my life. 
I am pathetic.

As lonely as melting snow drops in freezing weather.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Disastrous Harmony.

Equilibrium. 
Yin and Yang. 
Light and Dark.
Balance.
I feel like my life is a perfectly knotted mess of good and bad. 


On one hand, part of my life seems like one big jumbled mess of bad. My job of 4 years -still part-time nonetheless with pretty crappy pay for all I do is on the fast track of showing me how much I am used to do, cover, recover, run, clean, and fix people's messes like I get paid enough to deal with these tasks everyday (oh no, I'm not.) Don't get me wrong, I don't completely hate my job, but I get fed up with having to do the same exact things every day I'm there -when it's not supposed to be my job. Oh, there's no coordinator up front until 12? Must be my job then! I'm fully responsible and capable to cover the job (all the jobs I do) -since I used to do it -but not be trusted with any of the responsibilities to perform the actual actions required for the 2 1/2 hours I'm running things, like get something so fucking simple as change for the registers. It's bad enough when fellow associates go to me first over the actual coordinators working but to clean up THEIR mess everyday-the one they should be taking care of -not me is pretty ridiculous. That is not the only thing either, but I will bore you no further on my rant of why I am apparently worth shit at my job.
Now, onto my other hand, the hand of goodness in my life. Even with pretty crappy days at work, I can't say that my days have been bad. (Though getting a squished Zingers out of the vending machine sucked pretty bad.) I do have good days and moments and new insights. Having the realization that staying at the same company I have worked for 4 years now isn't going to work out or put my life on track is a pretty good thing. I've been nothing short of loyal to that company, and my advancements there don't seem to be an option -since everyone else seems to be "more capable." And that's fine, I'm glad for them (some of them are even my friends), but I need my turn. And staying there will not help me. Looking for management and semi-management positions in local businesses, here I come.
This isn't all that's been happening, other worthy good and bad have happened, which puts me in binds. Should I be happy, or sad? Should I cry, or keep moving? Should I give up now, or should I keep going and make a way? My life right now had created this odd balance of perfectly harmonized sections of good and bad. My life at this moment is Yin and Yang.


I am stuck in branches, I see the goodness, can sense it, smell it, and sometimes touch it. But the bad wraps around me, and I am stuck here momentarily as I try to climb out.